Scared
by LlewellynPrince
Summary: Rodney breaks and John learns something about fear. For Piplover


Title: Scared

Series: Drabble Requests for Piplover  
Rating: G  
Pairings: None  
Category: Gen, H/C  
Season: any  
Summary: Rodney breaks down and John learns something about fear.  
Notes: beta'd by victoriaely and ashanome, two absolutly stunning betas!

I would like a John/Rodney fic, gen, where Rodney gets a migraine on a mission and Sheppard has to look after him while Teyla finishes the negotiations. Lots of h/c, please.  
Thank you!  
Piplover

Thud.

"-we would like-"

Thud.

"-between our two peoples-"

THUD.

"-against the Wraith-"

THUD.

"Arggh!" Rodney's cry of pain made everyone in the negotiation room turn to him in surprise.

"Rodney?" John frowned. The village chieftain was frowning and in general not looking very happy. John had hoped to have one mission that didn't involve running from something. McKay just bent forward and held his head, breath hissing out between thinned white lips.

"Dr. McKay?" Concerned, Teyla leaned forward from Rodney's other side, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Ronon frowned from her other side, giving a gruff, "What's wrong with you McKay?"

Rodney just groaned and hung his head in his hands.

Teyla placed her hand on his forehead and he jerked back with a yelp.

"Ow, what the hell was that for!" He glared at her and Teyla pulled her hand back. Rodney was pale, shaking and sweat was beading on his forehead.

"Dr. McKay?" The chieftain's voice boomed and Rodney's squeezed his eyes shut.

Apparently it was an insult to suddenly grab your head in pain during negotiations. John frowned. "Rodney?"

"It's a headache, Major, what's it look like?" Rodney snapped then grimaced.

John turned to the chieftain who was starting to look insulted. "Uh, Dr. McKay's head hurts and-"

Teyla rushed to assure the chieftain that it wasn't because of him and suggested John take Rodney out for some air. John got the hint, grabbed Rodney, and made the two of them scarce in case of fireworks Teyla couldn't fix. He dragged Rodney along behind him until he found a nice log just outside the village to sit on. Rodney collapsed on the log and John frowned as Rodney pulled a bottle of pills out of his pocket.

"What the heck are those, McKay?" The pills were huge and John really didn't understand how someone could swallow them.

"What do they look like, Major? They're pain killers. And if you haven't noticed, my head is about to explode!" Rodney glared at him before downing four of the pills.

"Um, should you be taking so many of those?" John asked warily. Carson had lectured everyone on overdosing after the first few off-world injuries. Rodney glared at him again before taking a long drink from his water bottle.

"It's fine. They don't work unless I take a bunch and it's not enough to slow me down," he muttered.

John's forehead creased in confusion. "Not enough to slow you down? What do you mean?"

Rodney glanced at him, one hand going up to rub his head. "Yes, not enough to slow me down. What are you, deaf?" Rodney snapped, the pain making him irritable.

John frowned. "Slow you down? Rodney, no offense, but you aren't exactly Rambo."

"Not physically, you idiot, I'm talking about my brain. It's to slow my brain down, my thoughts, so I can sleep."

"You're taking sleeping pills?" John asked angrily. "Why the hell didn't you tell me? As team leader I need to know about these things!"

"I'm not taking sleeping pills, Major," Rodney sounded annoyed, like he did when John asked him stupid questions on purpose.

"Then what are they for?"

"They're to slow down my thoughts, so I can relax and sleep," Rodney sighed at having to repeat himself.

John frowned and felt guilt creeping up. He hadn't noticed that Rodney was having trouble. "Jesus, McKay, why didn't you tell me?" John straddled the log next to him.

"Because it doesn't concern you, Major, and nothing's ever happened in the field before."

"I don't care if it's never happened in the field, McKay, you're my friend. You can tell me these things."

Rodney gave him an annoyed look. "Of course you are, Major."

John frowned at the sarcasm in Rodney's voice, it covered barely concealed hurt.

"Rodney," John placed a comforting hand on Rodney's shoulder causing the scientist to look up at him through red eyes. "Hey buddy, I'm here for you and so is everybody else. And I hate to break it to you but almost everyone likes you and considers you a friend."

Rodney looked surprised at that.

"Yup, even your scintillating personality couldn't scare us away!" John finished cheerfully and Rodney glared at him. "Seriously though, Rodney, if you ever need anything, ever, all you have to do is ask, everyone on Atlantis would die for you." John realized his mistake a half a second too late as Rodney stiffened.

"Aw, damn it, Rodney, that's not what I meant." The last thing he wanted to do was remind the scientist of those who had died to save him, most recently in the puddle jumper. "What I wanted to say was that you save our asses on a regular basis and we're more than ready to do the same for you," John smiled reassuringly and saw the tension in Rodney's muscles relax.

Rodney glared at him, "You don't get it do you?"

John blinked, taken aback. "Don't get what?"

Rodney laughed humorlessly. Then glared and jumped up, pacing in front of John.

"Rodney, what are you talking about? And why have your headaches gotten worse now?"

"Because I haven't slept, that's why!"

John reeled back at Rodney's anger. "Why not? We haven't run into the Wraith, or the Genii for that matter, in a while."

Rodney stared at him in disbelief. "Because I'm scared, Major. You think that Atlantis is going to protect us forever? Glass walls, Major, glass walls! They aren't going to hold up forever!"

"You don't know that!" John snapped.

"Yes, I do, Major. I'm the genius, remember? I've read the Ancient data base, the information they stored. Even they didn't expect Atlantis to stand forever. Why do you think they left?"

John stared at him. This was not something he wanted to talk about.

"See, you don't get it," Rodney sighed.

"Well, explain it to me!" John stood, looking with concern at his friend.

"You're all super soldier. You don't think past food, survival, and sex."

John twitched at that. Rodney was well aware that most of Atlantis's current relationships, if you could call some of them that, had been instigated by the scientists.

"You don't think beyond the moment. You don't see all the possibilities, what can happen in the span of a second. We can."

"We?"

"Me, the other scientists, Elizabeth, the civilians. We aren't soldiers, Major, we don't have your mindset. We can't ignore things or just go on after some tragedy. Hell, half my staff, including me, was catatonic when Peter died! Most of them suffer from nightmares and I wouldn't give any of them a gun because they jump at shadows! They're scared, Major. I'm scared. We're all scared, Major. Everyone except you and your damn soldiers. We're so terrified that we can't sleep and you and your damn toy soldiers just walk around smiling. My staff is afraid you're going to snap and kill us all!"

John blinked. Now that Rodney mentioned it, the scientists had been acting strangely lately. "Is it really that bad?"

"Yes! Timmermen is talking about strangling Stackhouse if he cracks another joke!"

John frowned. Timmermen was smaller than Stackhouse, but he was quick for a scientist.

"It's like you're all determined to ignore everything!"

"That's how we deal with things, Rodney. That's how we're trained," John explained, starting to get angry. "We can't just change because we scare you."

"Yes, I understand that, that's fine, but you leave the rest of us, who have no training in this situation, to deal with it by ourselves." Rodney turned to him, tired eyes and exhausted features. "We're scared, Major, and you and your men are supposed to protect us and half the time you don't. Hell, you avoid the labs like the plague!"

"Yeah, but that's because we don't want you guys to kill us with your brains."

Rodney glared at the joke, it had started when he and Kavanagh had snapped at a marine who'd touched the wrong thing and convinced him they could kill him with their brains. Apparently the entire base believed it now, even though they couldn't, but there was no reason to tell them that. Besides they were in another galaxy, it wasn't his fault if the soldiers were gullible. Besides, the guy knew he and Kavanagh were joking.

"Look, Rodney, we're scared too. We just...hide it better then you do. But that doesn't mean we don't know how you feel. We do. Look, when we get back, I'll talk to the others and we'll work something out, okay?" John placed a comforting hand on Rodney's shoulder and looked his friend in the eye. If he had known that things would get so out of hand when it had started, he never would have let it get this far.

"My head hurts," Rodney's voice was low and it quivered.

"I'm sorry none of us noticed, Rodney," he apologized quietly. The scientist didn't respond.

Two hours later Teyla and Ronon found John and Rodney and after a quick, quiet explanation from John, they headed back to Atlantis. In the puddle jumper, John caught Ronon sticking his chocolate bar in Rodney's vest when the scientist wasn't looking. As they flew back, John noted that Teyla was sitting calmly next to the exhausted scientist, keeping a silent vigil over him. Hopefully things were going to turn out all right.

As it turned out, Rodney had been right. Timmermen snapped after he and Stackhouse and the rest of the team returned through the gate after John and his team. And just as Rodney had predicted, it was because Stackhouse had made another joke, this one about ghosts, and Timmermen had lunged for his throat. It wouldn't have been so bad if every other marine and airmen hadn't laughed at the joke and then stood dumbfounded when Timmermen had lost it. Rodney, Campbell, Elizabeth, and Miko had had to drag him off Stackhouse and the other two marines on his team. The others had yelled at him until they'd realized he was shaking like a leaf and muttering 'I'm okay, I'm okay' every time Elizabeth and Rodney asked him a question. Stackhouse had recovered quickly and tried to help, but Timmermen just asked for Rodney and Rodney ended up taking him back to the labs, Campbell and Miko trailing behind.

Elizabeth and John had a long talk with the military contingent and the next time John saw Timmermen and Rodney, they were with Campbell, Miko, Simpson, Zelenka, Parish, Katie Brown and Kate Heightmeyer and, to his surprise and pleasure, Lorne, Bates, Cadman (not much of a surprise there) and several other soldiers. Stackhouse walked in as he watched. It looked like everything was going to be okay.


End file.
